In the summer of 1966, radio stations banned Beatles songs because John Lennon said the band was more popular than Jesus. In response, Jesus said, “Don’t be stupid, radio stations. So what if John and Paul are more popular than I am? I’ve never been in it for the popularity. Play me some ‘Hey, Jude.'”
Here’s what I learned about the Beatles from a book called Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. The Beatles flew to Hamburg in 1960 and played in clubs for 250 nights. They learned each other’s styles and how to work together.
The Beatles probably learned a little German. Have you seen those videos where actors say a word in a variety of languages, and then they say it in German and it sounds like they’re coughing up a fur ball? German is unjustly accused. It’s not that bad. Let me tell you the facts. I flew to the Netherlands a few years ago and heard Dutch for the first time. Dutch sounds like you’re coughing up a fur ball with a ventilator tube down your throat.
Back to the Beatles and their homeland: Here are a few British words Americans should learn just in case traveling to the U.K. is ever a thing again.
- Plaster – put it on your skin, not on a wall. It’s a Band-Aid.
- SatNav – Short for satellite navigation, aka Google Maps or Waze.
- A and E. This is not a TV channel. It’s a place where they might use a ventilator tube, and people in scrubs are moving fast. Got a guess? I’ll let you work on it.
[MUSICAL INTERLUDE]
[WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU PREFER? JESUS LIKES “HEY, JUDE,” SO LET’S GO WITH THAT.]
[DON’T HUM ALONG. IT WILL DISTURB THOSE AROUND YOU.]
[I HATED IT IN SCHOOL WHEN ANOTHER STUDENT FINISHED A TEST BEFORE I DID AND THEY TALKED WITH THEIR NEIGHBOR. WHAT I HATED MORE WERE TEACHERS WHO DIDN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. IF YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, GO STICK A VENTILATOR TUBE DOWN YOUR THROAT AS PENANCE.]
The A and E is Accident and Emergency – the emergency room or ER. Like the TV drama where George Clooney, Anthony Edwards, and Julianna Margulies kept us all entertained in the ‘90s.
I hope you’re nowhere near an A and E today unless someone you love is giving birth. If so, congratulations. Sing the baby a Beatles song through the plexiglass, and tell the baby to get used to plexiglass. Thanks to the virus, it’s everywhere now. I suggest you sing, “I Want to Hold Your Hand but That’s Hard to Do While Social Distancing.” Jesus would approve.