Every six months or so, I have an episode of mild tunnel vision. It goes away in minutes. I asked one eye doctor about it, and he said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. What have you been smoking?”
If a physician asks you what you’ve been smoking, ask yourself, “Have I been smoking something?”
If the answer is:
- Yes: Then you might as well confess exactly what you’ve been smoking because the doc needs all the facts.
If the answer is:
- No: Then tell the doctor you haven’t been smoking anything. But if you’ve been on the internet all day searching COVID-19 or GREAT FASHION OF THE 1980s, tell the doc because any of that can make you ill.
I hadn’t been doing A or B. A few years later, I got a new doc and described my vision symptoms. He said, “You’re having an acephalgic migraine.”
“I’m having an ace-in-a-foul what?”
“Acephalgic migraine. A migraine without the headache.”
Let me offer a description of a regular ol’ migraine that I found on the internet, so you know it’s reliable. If you have:
a. tunnel vision or weird shapes floating in front of your eyes, AND
b. you can’t stand bright light, AND
c. your head is killing you, AND (this next one is important)
d. you have NOT been doing LSD, and
e. we are NOT in the middle of a presidential election (which can cause terrible headaches), then — presto! You may be having a migraine.
If you’re having all that but NO pain, then it may be an acephalgic migraine. Either way, go see an eye doctor.
Two final pieces of advice. (1) Stay up-to-date on COVID-19. (2) Let 1980s fashion go.